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lack of love

It’s easy to go through seasons of drought. There are times when we feel exhausted, worn out, unloved. We feel like God isn’t listening to our prayers. We think He’s refusing to act, and we feel a lack of love.

This is going to happen at some point or another. Relying on the Lord isn’t easy.

So what do we do when we feel dry and dreary?

We have to seek out God’s love through His Spirit.

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5 ESV).

We feel God’s love through the Holy Spirit.

When we feel a lack of love, it could be that we aren’t filling ourselves with the Spirit.

Instead, we are filling ourselves with some substitute that doesn’t satisfy. This substitute could be good for us: a healthy relationship, a meaningful career, an investment in our children’s lives. But eventually, this substitute will leave us longing for more because nothing and nobody can fulfill our need for love.

You might say, okay great. I want to feel God’s love, so I need to fill myself with the Spirit. But what exactly does that mean? Because “filling myself with the Spirit” sounds like a weird religious act. 

I’m here to tell you that it is not some one-time ritual. Being filled with the Spirit is a continuous, DAILY act. It happens over and over and over because our human hearts quickly go astray. 

We have access to God through faith and by the grace shown because of Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf. Therefore, there is nothing separating us from accessing God. He even gave us the Spirit in order to feel His love. 

Just because God gave us His Spirit doesn’t mean every Christian is living in the fullness of the Spirit. This takes work! It’s not easy. This isn’t a quick prayer asking to be filled with the Spirit and then we are good for the day. 

Instead, we have to invest in our walk of faith, continuously spending time in the process of sanctification (aka becoming more holy). We have to spend time in His Word and learn His will. We have to give up control of our lives and surrender to Him. This time investment and surrender is a process.

The most encouraging news of this whole process of being filled with the Spirit is that the more we are filled, the more we feel loved.

Remember Romans 5:5?

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5 ESV).

We receive UNASHAMED HOPE because God POURS love into our hearts. That is some beautiful news.

The Holy Spirit gives us this hope because He is a guarantee. 

“He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee” (2 Corinthians 5:5 ESB).

In this verse, the word guarantee is the Greek word for “engagement ring”. The love story of God wooing us is never-ending!

You see, God gave us the Spirit as a promise – like an engagement ring – symbolizing the dedication of His love. Not tapping into that love by investing in the relationship is like a fiancée leaving the diamond ring in the ring holder without a second thought.

We have to wear the ring! 

We should be like the fiancée who admires the engagement ring, shows pictures to her friends, wears it every day, and maintains it by cleaning it and caring for it. This can help decrease that feeling of a lack of love.

Just because we have the ring doesn’t mean we recognize it. We have to continually remind ourselves of the guarantee of God’s love. The guarantee hasn’t gone anywhere. Maybe we have.

Here’s a sort of self-assessment. There is obvious evidence of being filled with the Spirit – the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Examine your thoughts and actions. Do they show evidence of the fruit?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV).


Kara Abernathy is a Christian lifestyle blogger and high school English teacher from Kansas City. You can often find her shopping at Target or dancing with her husband. She invites you to follow along as she inspires others to cling to Jesus by walking in truth and living in grace. It is her goal that her writing becomes a corner of the Internet where broken people can encounter a perfect Lord at www.karaabernathy.com. Grab a freebie here, or check out her Instagram @kara_abernathy.

 

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3 Comments

  1. Powerful words!! I love what you said about, “Just because we have the ring doesn’t mean we recognize it. We have to continually remind ourselves of the guarantee of God’s love.” This is so true. We must recognize and feel His love.

  2. Hi Kara. I never really considered the Holy Spirit as an avenue to experiencing God’s love. Thank you for that perspective. I will chew on it as I continue my day. It’s such a blessing to have the Holy Spirit right smack in the center of our lives, getting to know our hearts and helping us with each beat to honor our God. (See, I’m chewing on it already!) This was a refreshing post.

  3. Great insight on Romans 5:5. We forget this truth, “The most encouraging news of this whole process of being filled with the Spirit is that the more we are filled, the more we feel loved.” Thanks for the reminder, this is not something we usually equate with the Holy Spirit.

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